See these guys up there? The turtle and snail? This is how fast you will take your relationship, Curtaintown.
Dear Nicole,
How does one navigate a new relationship they are really excited about while also experiencing a mental health crisis? Say you are getting plenty of support, do you just stay in the underworld and trudge through or do you go towards the light and let the new love in? HOOOW? Thank you kindly.
Signed,
Crisis in Curtaintown
Dear Curtaintown,
Congratulations on the romance, and I’m sorry about the mental health stuff.
“Stuff” is the medical term, yes?
This is a hard question, because a relationship going south can shake you to your core, and if your core is currently in trouble, wavering, the combination can be not-so-good.
You say it’s new. Can you keep it light? Lite? Go slow?
I mean really really really slow.
So slow, and so light (lite) that if they decided tomorrow to bail out and join the Peace Corps, you could lightly take the smallest plastic Easter egg of yours from their basket and return it to your own, turning the page and glad for the experience?
If so, that would be my advice.
Keep your eggs, your heavy and fragile and important eggs, in your own basket. And in those of your friends & supporters. Wherever you would bury a horcrux, this is where the majority of your intentions should be focused. On the people holding your hand in the underworld.
Put the frivolous ones- the tea and cuddling and purposeful emojis, in theirs.
Until you’ve managed the mess somehow or feel stronger.
And if your “stuff” gets heavier, too heavy to bear the weight of new-romance fun, it’s a different conversation. It’s self-care 24/7. All baths and therapy, old friends and musicals. Trust in familiar places where you know it belongs, not new places you’re scoping for a foothold.
In the meantime, the romancer can stay slow and true. They can show themselves to be trustworthy and understanding, patient and kind.
If it all works out, maybe someday they will hold your hand down there too, but in the meantime, they’re just here for joy enhancement purposes.
Good luck!
And please take care of that sweet horcrux heart of yours.
Sincerely, n.g.
p.s. If you can’t do this, go slow or go light, and you’re honest with yourself about that, then don’t fear, my friend. Detach with love now, say goodbye, and if it’s meant to be, it will come back. When you are ready and feeling strong. I promise.
